A House Without a Cat is Not a Home

"One cat just leads to another."
— Ernest Hemingway

With the exception of when I lived in a dorm room at college, I've always had one or more cats. When I was in high school, about 40 of the beasts called Blinn house home -- a few were inside cats, some were "porch cats", and the rest hung around the house because they knew my mother would feed them.

Cats

Articles about Cats

Thoughts about Cats

I am in total control, but don't tell my cat.
I bathed the cat this morning. It took hours to get the fur off my tongue.
I fed some lemon to my cat and now I have a sour puss.
I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. — Hippolyte Taine
I interfaced my cat to my radio. I just got hiss.
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. — Winston Churchill
If you underestimate protocol, you've never had a cat.
If you want the best seat in the house, move the cat.
In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats. — English proverb
It works better if you plug it in — unless it's the cat.

A cat ...

...could be man's best friend, but never stoops to it.
...has to have a name, or else it wouldn't be a cat.
...is a four-footed allergen.
...is all love and energy!
...is always on the wrong side of the door.
...is an extension of God.
...is domestic only as far as it suits its own ends.
...is easier to train than a man.
...is just a bundle of purr.
...is nobody's fool.
...is the universe's way of showing us purrfection.
...knows your every thought. It doesn't care, but it knows.
...never cries over spilled milk.
...sleeps fat, yet walks thin.
...stretches from one end of my childhood to the other.
...will always sit on whatever you're trying to read.
...will assume the shape of its container.

Dictionary definition

Cat (n): 1. Furry keyboard cover 2. Alarm clock. 3. A walking ego with fur. 4. A small animal, frequently mistaken for a meatloaf. 5. A small furry beast resembling a meatloaf. 6. An attitude in fur. 7. Animal that proves eating and sleeping is not all bad. 8. Companion in grace, beauty, mystery, and curiousity. 9. Dog with an attitude problem. 10. Ethereal music wreathed in mystery. 11. Lapwarmer with built-in buzzer. 12. Small four-legged fur-bearing extortionist. 13. Small mammal with an attitude problem.

Catnip

Our cats love the stuff, although Cheese seemed never to have experienced catnip before he arrived at our house. Teaching him what catnip was for was just one of Minus's contributions to Cheese.

We use the catnip that comes in a plastic tub. I keep it in the garage. When I bring it in and shake the tub (a sound I might be able to hear on the other side of the room), the cats can hear it even if they're in the basement or on the second floor.

Protocol requires that I dole it out in three distinct piles, each at least half the distance of an outstretched cat from the other. Two full cat-lengths would be even better.

The cats each lick up a little of the stuff and then they lie down — no, they fall over — and roll in it. Then, whoever has absorbed all of his catnip first, looks around for more, notices one of the other cats — and the result is a large ball of wrestling cats.

Then they sleep.

Three Little Kittens (June 2006)

My elder daughter had beenbeen feeding a couple of feral cats and one of the cats presented her with a litter of 3 kittens. By the time she saw them, they were 4 to 6 weeks old. Eyes open, ears fully up, eyes still blue, able to eat and groom themselves.

She found a home for two, but wasn't been able to find a home for the third. It joined their growing menagerie (2 orange cats — one given to her and one adopted from a shelter, a calico they found abandoned in a box at a park in Dayton, a dog that used to belong to a guy who's now in Iraq, and now another little kitten.)

Between the kittens and their razor claws and teeth and the prickly bushes, she got a lot of scrapes. But the kittens now have homes.

The one shown here, Chloe, came to live with us when Elizabeth was living in a place where cats were not permitted. She never left.

Cats Don’t ...

... brag about whom they have slept with.
... correct your stories.
... criticize your friends.
... feel threatened by your intelligence.
... make a practice of killing their own species.
... mind if you do all the driving.
... need any excuses.
... weigh down your purse with their stuff.

Cats Know ...

... all the sunny places.
... black suede gloves are giant tarantulas that need to be killed.
... curtains are for climbing.
... how we feel. They don't care, but they know.
... leaping into the box helps their human pack.
... licking or batting the empty food dish around will make food appear.
... looking adorable after misbehaving negates their crime.
... the bed is a WWF wrestling ring.
... the box of aquarium supplies in the basement is a litter box.
... their rights.
... there are Martians hiding in the new drapes.
... they will get some human food if patient.

Cats Need to ...

... climb into every box in the household.
... hiss at every visitor to make them feel at home.
... kill the kibble by batting it around the kitchen.
... sample the contents of every pot on the stove.
... wake up the human at 3 a.m. by chewing on their head.

A Cat’s Purr is the ...

... sound of it generating mystery and enigma.
... most effective stress medicine known.
... rumble of peace in the animal kingdom.

Various Notes about Cats

A cat's way of keeping law & order is claw enforcement.
A cat's worst enemy is a closed door.
A cats purr is the sound of it generating cute.
A closed door is an attack on a cat's personal freedom.
A purring cat and a glowing fireplace makes winter bearable.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
After a hard day, it's nice to come home to a warm cat.
And on the 8th day, God created cats.
Anything not nailed down is a cat toy.
Anything on the ground is a cat toy. Anything not there yet, will be.
As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat. — Ellen Perry Berkeley
C:\pet C:\pet\cat C:\pet\cat\ignore\human
Call my cat? No, I just run the can opener.
Can you imagine conning eight cats into pulling a sled?
Cat + unattended keyboard = garbage all over screen.
Cat aplomb: Whatever happens, look as if it were intended.
Cat asleep on my shoulders — the only way to wear fur.
Cat ate cheese and waited by mousehole with baited breath.
Cat bathing is a martial art.
Cat bumper sticker: Life is hard, then you nap.
Cat fur expands to fill all available drives.

Still More Important Points about Cats

Cat Toy (n): Any object on the ground.
Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
Cat's teach us tolerance and how to see through walls.
CAT.COM started. Computer will hack furball in 5 minutes.
Cat: Living poetry.
Catacomb (n.): Used for brushing the cat.
Catalan: Local area network for cats.
Catalog: Firewood for the cat's fireplace.
Catalyst (n): an alphabetical list of cats.
Catalyze: To lie while looking cute.
Catastrophe: An award for the cat with the nicest buns.
Catatonic (n.): Italian beverage most preferred by cats.
Catchup: A hair ball.
Caterpillar: Scratching post.
Cats allow man the pleasure of caressing the tiger.
Cats always have to be the center of attention.
Cats are alarm clocks and are obligated to wake the humans.
Cats are always more sarcastic than dogs.
Cats are companions. Dogs are slaves.
Cats are easier to train than kids.
Cats are easy to buy for.
Cats are excellent at domesticating people.
Cats are independent, by which I mean smart. — D. Barry
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
Cats are just little bundles of purr.
Cats are natural paper shreaders.
Cats are nature's way of helping you detect the people you don't want to know.
Cats are nature's way of telling you that you don't really matter.
Cats are not clean; they are just covered in cat spit.
Cats are required to shred the newspaper to save people from it.
Cats are room-mates. Dogs are kids.
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can not get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. — Jeff Valdez
Cats are the higher purpose of the universe.

The Blinn Family